The Dark Heart (The Love Life of Batman)

Posted on February 15, 2010 by

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As Valentine’s Day has come and gone some are left with dazzles in their eyes much like diamonds while others are left brooding in the corner dreaming of revenge. In these times one cannot help but look back on relationships over the years. In comics when it comes to relationships I can think of none other than Batman, because let’s be honest here; who has broken more hearts than The Bat?

In the beginning Bruce had a couple little love interests. The first one, a Ms. Julie Madison, played a great damsel in distress for many years (everyone needed someone back then didn’t they?). Ah life back when women couldn’t stop the bad guys, vote, or open a jar of pickles. Actually in, and out of, everything she did she was tough and even donned the costume at one point to help him out. In the end life was too much and she ran off to marry some royalty and forget the money Bruce had. Linda Page followed her in this era, but she was even more useless and just came and went.  (I did not use a different picture of Linda since really no one cared about her)

While some disappear and some just marry a better person there are those you can never get rid of. For that I give you Vicki Vale (you know she’s important when she gets her own trading card.). To figure out how this came about imagine a room with two writers as one says, “How do we give a superhero a love interest?”, and the other replies, “I know! A reporter who falls in love with both his personalities while teetering on discovering who he is! That’s new and clever!” Thus we got Lois La… I mean Vicki Vale. The reporter with a heart of gold who is great at her job even though it took her over 50 years to realize Bruce Wayne and kin happen to be the masked crusaders.

So what happened to this leading lady in Bruce’s life? I think it is easier to ask what didn’t. She fell in love with Batman, dated Bruce Wayne, moved away when they swept out old characters (I still miss Bat-Hound), came back to get caught in a love square (Bruce is too good for only a triangle), left to get a TV show, and came back to write for a local paper in the midst of Battle for the Cowl. She is now playing a key role in Red Robin having finally solved the mystery of who is who in the Batman world. Maybe this broken-hearted damsel will get a fourth shot at love.

Those were only the beginning of his relationships. From here Batman started taking a liking for the dark side. I guess one man with such a dark side could only have so many good girls. Soon the Bat met the Daughter of the Demon; Talia al Ghul. This was not your average girl as she was the daughter of the head of the League of Assassins. She was trained to be a killer and was forced by her father to find a mate in Bruce Wayne a.k.a. Batman. In this arranged marriage (arranged in Ra’s al Ghul’s mind anyway) she found true love for the caped crusader.

What is it that sets her apart from the rest? She actually succeeded in winning the hand of Bruce (okay she was the only in the main DC Universe that succeeded). Talia married Bruce Wayne and even gave him a son. You have to love a woman who has demon in her name naming her son Damien. She eventually left Bruce as even knowing his secret (then again who doesn’t for crying out loud?) and accepting it she knew he would always have to protect her. So instead proving her difference from the damsels in distress of yester year she protected him from behind the scenes and is still an on again off again love of the cowled one.

To keep going one by one would take a long time. So let’s do a bit of a highlight reel of Bruce’s failed attempts at love.

Shondra Kinsolving: Despite her name she did not solve much of anything and how is it a psychic is one of the few loves who did not know about his true Identity?

Wonder Woman: No surprise with this one. In a mostly male super hero populated world Diana could pick whoever she wanted. Though to be honest with that lasso of truth I think any man would be afraid to date her.

Jezebel Jet: A recent addition to Bruce’s love life before his apparent death. Like so many others she figured out who he was. Unlike the rest they at least explained she did not say anything because he died so soon after.

Poison Ivy: Okay, yeah let’s be honest here. Ivy is easily the harlette of the Batman Universe. Who hasn’t tried to, come close to, or died because they tapped that?

Nocturna: This was one of those forgotten women, but she did do something amazing. She was a pale skinned villainess who looked and acted like a vampire (guess even Batman likes the goth chicks). What makes her so special? She was to be a main part to a Batman: The Animated Series episode but due to the overtone of a vampire theme Fox said, “No.” and the episode was banned.

You know talking about these bad girls of Gotham really makes me think I am forgetting someone. I know it is on the tip of my tongue. It was someone important who keeps showing up and might have even had her own comic. I really wish I could just remember who it is. Of course I am kidding. On again off again cannot even begin to describe Batman’s best known and most influential relationship with the one and only Catwoman.

Throughout every version of Batman in comics, television, movies, and books there was one constant love interest. That love interest was the all-time classic Selina Kyle (something about her name I just love… can’t quite put my finger on it). She was a thief who led him along (yes a woman who LED HIM along) that turned good for him (or maybe because of Zatanna. Thanks for being clear comics!). She has been good and evil and has always held that man’s heart in her paw.

In the Earth 2 continuity Batman and Catwoman were even married and she gave birth to The Huntress. Though outside of that particular time line she does not know who Batman is even after all of these years. Though it can be argued she is the one true love of Bruce Wayne. Every time they see each other all I can hear is, “Never gonna give you up..” They can never be together though due to fear of her being hurt by his villains and not to mention hers. She is willing to steal for good, but most the time Batman will not hurt a fly to stop the bad guy (hence why Joker is still alive after Jason). This threat is real and this relationship will forever be at ends, but if you are anything like me you are pulling for these two.

This list still leaves off many of the loves of Batman. This was long enough and it is only including the comic book Universe and not all the other versions. To the heart-broken girls out there do not get any ideas of becoming the villainess or trying to get in danger to win your man. Broken hearted men be glad you have not had assassins sicked after you or kissed your girl who has poisonous lips.

Is there a love interest of the Bat you loved or hated? Was there just a comic book character that stole your heart and/or broke it? Let us know what lights that spark in your heart and until then remember that if you have billions of dollars and are over 80, but still look like your 30 you can have anyone you want.

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