Top 5 Worst Comic Book Movies of All Time

Posted on September 26, 2011 by

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Even in the stinkiest biggest shit pile you have the top of the heap. The things on top of the garbage that makes the other garbage feel like they smell like a bunch of roses. Movies and comic books are no different, but then sometimes some are just so bad you will always remember them. Like a train wreck scarred into your brain with screams and agony there are comic book movies that leave an even worse taste in your mouth.

#5 Elektra

 

I am not fully sure if this counts as a movie to be honest. Feels more like a bad dream that you experience in a drug induced coma that you keep screaming to wake up from and when you finally do you start drinking yourself stupid in an attempt to forget it ever happened. Okay maybe that is a bit harsh… no… no it really isn’t.

 

Now a lot of people will pick on the Daredevil movie as being pretty bad, but at least Daredevil had a director’s cut that made for a pretty different and one you can like. There is no saving this movie in any shape or form. The acting was bad, the effects were childish and the plot was insanely stupid. There was nothing in this movie that really made it worth watching unless you are a Jennifer Garner fan and like seeing her in a skimpy-ish outfit wielding sais.

#4 Fantastic Four

 

Okay where to start with this one… first off can someone explain to me this obsession with Jessica Alba? With her lips she is just a poor man’s Angelina Jolie. Yeah I know it is a random thing to pick out but I have so many people try and defend this movie saying she is hot and you get to see her pretty much nude. Yay for you… now can I have a comic book movie not judged by nudity? How about we go for plot and effects? Which is why this film makes the list.

First off when telling the origin story of a group of well known heroes and a well known villain do not change major things! You want to change a few details that can be over looked, but completely overhauling in a way that makes no sense is not excusable. I mean as much as I love a villain becoming so mean because he cannot get any nookie from a chick who goes invisible can I please have the well known original concept? Yeesh. Next you will tell me they are gonna screw up the Silver Surfer too… oops…. (Trust me I fought with myself to put that on this list).

The effects on this were a big letdown as they had the budget, but apparently none of the skill for it. In reality when the movie the Impossibles dropped before this they felt they had to up the odds a bit so they added in effects and it looked like a film school student’s final paper. Even the old school Roger Corman film (that was never officially released by the way) was at least designed to be cheap and cheesy. So if you are gonna watch a bad version of this get Corman’s copy and just laugh.

 

#3 Catwoman

 

Where to begin my hatred of this movie? Let me explain this to you for starters; my last name is Kyle and If I have a daughter she will be named Selina after Catwoman. So this movie had a lot to live up to for me and upon the first news article stating Halle Berry was Catwoman I was out. Worst casting has not come about since Arnold as Mr. Freeze, but that is getting ahead of myself.

Now the casting aside (remember me bitching a couple paragraphs ago about changing a character’s back story?), well, I hate saying it but Catwoman makes Fantastic Four look like a word for word exact copy of the comics compared to this mess. First the character is not Selina, there is not Batman, she is not really a thief and the costume… I really do not even know what to say there… I’m sure some crack dealer got rich off this film as they had to have been supplying the entire crew.

#2 Batman and Robin

First indication this film was in trouble is when the director decided to make a cheesy film as a throwback to the old 60’s series. The second indication this movie was in trouble was someone going “Let’s put nipples on the batsuits!” and the idiots listened. Yes if you cannot tell costumes are a big deal to me as they define heroes. You can recognize Superman’s outfit by color alone let alone design. You screw with these and you completely alter the mood and design of a hero. Granted Batman Begins and The Dark Knight did great altering these, but this movie is not them.

Now let us get into the casting issues this has. First off as I mentioned above (told you I was getting ahead of myself) having the Governator as Mr. Freeze was a bad decision and giving him corny lines was even worse (then again to be fair with his accent it was hard to tell he was delivering bad one liners and not just mumbling). George Clooney as Batman was a horrid choice as all he could play was goofy and never tough and strong. Chris O’Donnel as Robin was actually a bit more acceptable minus the massive age difference. To keep in line with the weird age changes we have Alicia Silverstone as Barbara Gord.. I mean Barbara Wilson… no really again they change an origin. Only decent casting was Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy, but they put her in an outfit that looks like a prop left over from the 60’s and that is being kind! Pretty sure they had a real gardener do her hair too.

How was the story you ask? Why do you bother to ask? Origins changed, lines were bad, plot did not flow, characters were weird and they made Bane a limo driving thug lackey. Yes the Bane. The man who broke the Bat’s back! A genius tactician and guerilla warfare expert was made into a man with no lines, no brains and nothing but brawn. Plots were not overlooked and changed they were bombarded for 40 days and nights with nukes and replaced with a child’s crayon drawings of what they thought happened.

#1 X-Men 3: The Last Stand

 

I was told I was not allowed to just list this movie five times and it counts. When I think of bad movies this pretty much tops a lot of my lists in general and not just for comic books. X-Men Origins: Wolverine almost made this list, but still it cannot top my hatred of this movie. What pisses me off the most is this film had pretty much a perfect cast! All the characters played by the right actors, but it seemed that everyone (including the great actors in it) just phoned in their performance. The actors just could not get into their parts and were simply filling a contractual agreement.

Let’s get one MAJOR gripe out of the way first. The Juggernaut is not (I repeat NOT) a mutant! He gets his power from a gem and is an essence a god. His ability is also not just once he gets momentum he cannot be stopped. He is invulnerable to all damage, has super strength and is always unstoppable once he starts. Oh and what the Hell is up with that helmet that makes him look like the tripled faced guy from He-Man? If they can make Magneto’s costume look good and not overly corny they could have done something else with this damn it!

Now that have that out of the way and taken a few breaths let’s keep going. The plot changes a lot and I do mean a lot of origins and how things work. For instance the Phoenix was not a weird sub personality of Jean Grey. It was an intergalactic god like being with endless power that can be quite evil. The way the “cure” was found was also changed up a bit but that one is a bit more forgivable. Professor X going MIA like he did was not really part of this story and never occurred like it did. Also why the massive non-explained cast changes? People just went missing for no damn reason.

The Angel back story kind of kills me. They make him a main focus in the beginning of the film (shit he si the beginning of the film), and he has a small part throughout but come the tail end and major fight he has one scene where he swoops in to save his dad of all people and that is it. Psylocke was basically a purple haired girl. Marrow was even in it and changed up. The story simply made no sense and had no merit.

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